Las Vegas Recap - Red Rock Casino

March 2007

You don't have a website or something like that do you?

No, why?

I don't want to go on the Internet and find out that you've been talking shit about some Mexican smoking all your cigarettes during the Gators game.

Huh? That's not going to happen bro. No worries.

Cool. Thanks for the smokes . . . . I guess we can die together then.

Soon after that conversation, my sportsbook profits went out the window. After cashing out two HUGE winning tickets on Saturday thanks to UCLA, I just couldn't quit. I had to bet the games on Sunday.

I crave action.

Double shots of Patron too.

I held onto my UCLA winnings for about 15 hours. Then I pissed it away on UNC. The money must have been burning a hole in my pocket.

FUCK the GEORGETOWN HOYAS!

Oh yeah, FUCK Tajuan Porter and the Oregon Ducks. Twice.

FUCK stupid fouls with less than a second left.

I care about the spread damnit!

Thank goodness for the UCLA Bruins . . . . and betting the under.

Roller Coaster ride indeed.

I had a huge swing on Sunday.

As Miami Don said, nothing gets the juices flowing like betting on a basketball game. It's for action junkies.

Especially March Madness.

Throw in Pauly's buddy Senor and things get crazy.

UCLA bailed me out on a day when I went 3-7 picking games. I put my biggest bets down on them the two days they played . . . and won. Betting the spread and taking the under on UCLA was gold for me. My 3-7 record on Saturday felt more like 10-0. Those UCLA bets turned a losing day into my biggest winning day of the trip.

I love gambling.

Won a lot of money on Vanderbilt and Butler too.

Let it ride?

It was UNC that killed me. I put a big bet on them Sunday and lost. Big. I couldn't even watch the last 2 minutes in the trenches with Pauly, Change100, and Miami Don. The huge lead by UNC slowly disappeared. I had to leave. And fast.

I couldn't listen to the Georgetown fans cheering anymore. The hootin' and hollerin' sucks when you're on the short end of it. I had to get a good distance away . . . well, it was no more than 25 feet away . . . I was by the poker room and still had to see the loss to believe it.

Terror turned into a sick feeling.

UNC lost in OT. Ugly.

Money down the drain . . . and also down the toilet. Isn't gambling fun?

I really love March Madness.

I had a great time even though my nuts got kicked in pretty hard. I got to spend some quality time hanging out with my brother, Senor, Change100, Miami Don and JW.

The money truck turned into an empty dump truck within minutes but I'd still do it all over again. Well, maybe I'd change one thing . . . I'd bet on Georgetown instead.

Thank goodness I didn't move all-in on that UNC game.

Crooked Ted?

Think big, win big.

Next time.

* * * * *
Betting stats:

13-15 overall. Mostly NCAA games. Some NBA and NHL.

It sounds ugly but I was up big at 13-14. It's always that last one that gets you.

At least I hit 3 different parlays during the trip. Truly sick.

You always gotta have a little action money out there . . . just to keep things interesting.

Always.

I wagered around $8,000 in bets and walked away down. I should've spent my money more wisely . . . like getting some of the Red Rock sportsbook cocktail waitresses to blow me.

Bet on the Tar Heels or pay for a hummer? I think I blew it.

It is Las Vegas, right?

I chose the wrong rim job.


* * * * *
Sheer randomness:

I stepped into the Red Rock Casino elevator with two surfer dudes and a girl on Saturday. They were coming from the pool. We were going to different floors. One of the surfer guys asks his buddy why the elevator was going to the 8th floor.

"Our room is not on that floor," said surfer dude # 1.

Surfer dude # 2 goes, "Duh, that's the other dudes floor. He pushed the button, not me. Look at the other button that's lit up."

Crispy indeed.

As I got off, the girl says to me . . . . "Your shirt. What does daddy like? He likes slots? He likes em slutty?"

I turned around and told her that Daddy likes them stout!

And slutty.

She laughed and the door closed.

I think I need new clothes.


* * * * *
Say what?

This Mexican guy sitting next to me in the sportsbook kept making me laugh. He was a local. He told me that it was a good thing he wasn't at the club the night of the Pacman Jones fiasco. Pacman was involved in that shooting incident during NBA All Star weekend.

So this guy tells me that he's always strapped (with his 9mm). If he was at the club that same night, he would've fired a few shots himself just for the fuck of it.

Always strapped? Fire a few shots? Huh?

How about another cigarette bro?

He also told me his lawyer was sitting a few rows over betting on the ponies. Him and his friends kept ordering "wet pussies." One of the cocktail waitresses was trying to shake them down for bigger tips.

Gotta love them angleshooters.

I found out later that this guy used to sell drugs at the Redneck Riviera. Nuff said.


* * * * *

Poker anyone?

The first two hands of poker that I played after the UNC testicle kicking were pretty rough. I had my KK cracked by Dr. P. Then I flopped a full house versus flopped quads (I had 7-7 on a board of 6-6-7). Ouch.

Sunday just wasn't my day.

I love gambling.

Red Rock Casino was a great place to gamble, stay and eat. And lose money. I had 3 great dinners at the casino including a BBQ dinner . . . Amy Calistri made the dinner selection for me . . . all you can eat ribs, brisket and sausages baby!

Red Rock also has a sweet sportsbook. I love the cocktail waitresses too. Even the mush . . . she was so damn hot.

Good times.