Part of business ya know. So I fly in and do I relax? Nope, its off to play cards. I think you are going to like this short tale.
Now this game is a little different each time, and this time its NLHE 10k starting chips, with a rebuy or add-on. So, good strategy is to play Über tight until the add-on, right? Well, I decided to continue my run of play the Greg Raymer school of good decisions. But unlike him... I am at about 7500 in chips (blame a dark tunnel bet. I mis-identified the player's holding).
I raise from EP with QQ to about 3xBB. The button, who will call bets with Ax, indeed calls. As I watch the call and note his manner, I will even put him on a big Ax, Maybe even AK. But since he did not raise to isolate the blinds, I have to put him on AJ-A2s.
The flop comes 9c6s2d and I decide to lay a trap. I know this guy always will fire out on pots, but I am first to act. I figure if I underbet the pot I can get this guy to bluff me. I make a min bet at the pot. And sure enough, he thinks for a split second about raising and instead raises all in. I call so fast, everyone at the table knew a trap had sprung. BOINGggggg. He flips of A7o for a stone cold bluff. And he rivers and Ace. Got my money in as an 8+ to 1 favorite, but unlike Raymer, I cant win a race to save my life right now.
Side game SnG. Starting chips are shallow at $225. Blinds go out when someone gets knocked out. I have $140 left and a unique opportunity comes up. UtG raises to 30 and FOUR players call. I have AK suited in the BB. If I raise all-in for 80 more, I can really hurt all but one of the players (the DEEP stack who has hit almost every flop). I figure it this way... There is already $150 in the pot AND If I get everyone but a single player to fold I am getting 3-1 on a 2-1 race. It was a pro move, probably beyond me, but today it seemed crystal clear. The clincher was that the SnG only paid 1 place. So being patient as the short stack was ok, but I have to be waiting for a chance to TRIPLE up with odds of even money. And here it was.
I make the re-raise and sure enough. JJ folds (awesome), the deep stack calls (expected) and 44 gets out of the way since there is already a caller! The deep staack flips over QdJd. Now I cant blame him here. This is a small amount for him, plus he has YET to miss a flop. The flop has 2 diamonds, and the turn is a Queen.
Ok, so I end up the biggest loser for the night. But how can I be upset. I made GOOD decisions!!
On another note, props to Dr.Pauly (link on right) for mentioning my work on the CardClub poker podcast/radio show (link on right). He is very famous right now and doesn't need to acknowledge the wannabes. And yet he does. He is living the dream as a poker correspondent right now, and even if poker flames out in years to come, he'll have a great career on his hands since he is a very capable writer. Check out his stuff!
29.10.05
24.10.05
How to win low limit omaha
I have constructed this as a classic "text adventure game" that you would play in the 1980s on some lame, text based computer (of which I had two).
You wake up (each adventure game started this way) and find yourself in a casino. There are tables all around you. You have the taste of stripper panties in your mouth.
INVENTORY
You Have:
$100 dollars, chewing gum, room key card, voucher for a free lap dance.
CHEW GUM
That’s better.
GO TABLES
I don’t understand.
LOOK
There are tables all around you and a lit sign.
LOOK SIGN
It’s a sign alright.
READ SIGN
It says “Poker Room -North, Bathrooms -East, Table Games –West, Hotel Rooms – South”
WEST
Why would you do that? That would be –EV.
WEST
You spend time playing Blackjack, Roulette and Chinese offspring Gai-Pong Domino poker. Your bankroll is now $50. You return to the lobby.
NORTH
You enter the casino poker room. You're lucky to have found it. It is a maze of twisty tables, all alike.
NORTH
You find yourself at a Limit Table. The stakes are affordable (downright cheap).
PLAY POKER
You’ll need chips first.
BUY CHIPS
You buy $50 in chips
PLAY POKER
You sit down at the limit table. 6 hours later you are up $2. But you got to play a lot of hands (as did everyone).
GET UP
You collect your chips and get up from the table. Your legs feel num. Your bankroll is $52.
NORTH
You arrive at a No Limit Hold ‘em table. There are various 20 somethings seated around the table drinking Bud. They all have various baseball caps and sunglasses on. One player explains to another how he missplayed his hand. The other player is less than receptive.
PLAY POKER
Are you sure? This is a very volatile game and you are sure to encounter wild swings of luck. As you decide, a player takes a big pot with J5o.
PLAY POKER
Ok, but the waiting list is 8000 minutes. You are 180th on the list.
NORTH
You arrive at a Pot Limit Omaha Table. There is no waiting list. Seated at the table are lost Europeans and loud 30 somethings.
PLAY POKER
You sit down just as the dealer is explaining to a player that he ‘must use two cards’. He is noticeably upset.
A waitress asks if you wish something to drink… Just kidding, no waitress will come to this (or any other) poker table.
The dealer welcomes you and you sit in the BB. You are dealt 4 random cards.
LOOK CARDS
This could take all day. After all, no one raises or folds yet.
LOOK FLOP
I can’t do that… yet.
CALL
Smart. The dealer, deals three face up cards. Hey, you have two pair!!!
FOLD
Are you sure?
FOLD
You fold the cards. Someone takes down the pot with a straight.
You are dealt 4 more cards.
CALL
You are in the hand! The players call for something called a flop. The dealer deals 3 face up cards. Hey, you have a flush!
LOOK CARDS
Why? You have a flush!
LOOK CARDS
Since you insist. You have the King and Queen of spades.
LOOK TABLE
There are three other spades on the table, face up. They are the 2 the 3 and the 8 of spades. A player makes a pot size bet.
FOLD
Are you crazy?
FOLD
You fold. An Ace high flush takes the pot. Are you psychic?
The dealer deals everyone 4 new cards.
CALL
The dealer flops KQJ all different suits.
LOOK CARDS
You have JT98. Another player bets the pot.
FOLD
You are crazy!
FOLD
You fold. An Ace high straight takes down the pot.
The dealer deals everyone 4 more cards.
CALL
The dealer flops 7 of spades, Ten of spades, Ten of diamonds.
LOOK CARDS
You have the Ace of spades, the Queen of spades, the Jack of diamonds, and the Ten of clubs. Hey, you have 3 tens.
CALL
Why not raise?
NOT YET
I do not understand. Please reform your command.
CALL
Ok, you get 5 callers.
The next card is the 2 of spades. Hey, you have a flush.
RAISE POT
You get 3 callers.
The final card is the Jack of hearts. Hey, you have a full house!
RAISE POT
Two players fold as if there cards did not pan out. One player stares at you and calls.
The dealer asks to see your cards and you show yours. The others throw their cards face down on the table. The dealer pushes many, many chips in your direction.
What now?
PLAY POKER
Why not just type “repeat”?
REPEAT
After about 5 minutes, the dealer pushes a stack of chips in your direction.
REPEAT
After about 5 minutes, the dealer pushes a stack of chips in your direction.
REPEAT
After about 5 minutes, the dealer pushes a stack of chips in your direction.
How long is this going to go on?
REPEAT
Ok, ok I get it. About 2 hours later you are tired and want to go to your room.
REPEAT
Stop that, you are exhausted. Your legs feel like needles.
GET UP
That’s more like it. You head back to your room.
INVENTORY
You Have:
$200 dollars, chewing gum, room key card, voucher for a free lap dance.
SLEEP
No one sleeps where there are cards to be played.
TAKE SHOWER
Where would you like to take it?
QUIT
You quite while you are ahead. 3 goons mug you at the airport and you leave town broke. You did not even go to a strip club. Your score is 14.
You wake up (each adventure game started this way) and find yourself in a casino. There are tables all around you. You have the taste of stripper panties in your mouth.
INVENTORY
You Have:
$100 dollars, chewing gum, room key card, voucher for a free lap dance.
CHEW GUM
That’s better.
GO TABLES
I don’t understand.
LOOK
There are tables all around you and a lit sign.
LOOK SIGN
It’s a sign alright.
READ SIGN
It says “Poker Room -North, Bathrooms -East, Table Games –West, Hotel Rooms – South”
WEST
Why would you do that? That would be –EV.
WEST
You spend time playing Blackjack, Roulette and Chinese offspring Gai-Pong Domino poker. Your bankroll is now $50. You return to the lobby.
NORTH
You enter the casino poker room. You're lucky to have found it. It is a maze of twisty tables, all alike.
NORTH
You find yourself at a Limit Table. The stakes are affordable (downright cheap).
PLAY POKER
You’ll need chips first.
BUY CHIPS
You buy $50 in chips
PLAY POKER
You sit down at the limit table. 6 hours later you are up $2. But you got to play a lot of hands (as did everyone).
GET UP
You collect your chips and get up from the table. Your legs feel num. Your bankroll is $52.
NORTH
You arrive at a No Limit Hold ‘em table. There are various 20 somethings seated around the table drinking Bud. They all have various baseball caps and sunglasses on. One player explains to another how he missplayed his hand. The other player is less than receptive.
PLAY POKER
Are you sure? This is a very volatile game and you are sure to encounter wild swings of luck. As you decide, a player takes a big pot with J5o.
PLAY POKER
Ok, but the waiting list is 8000 minutes. You are 180th on the list.
NORTH
You arrive at a Pot Limit Omaha Table. There is no waiting list. Seated at the table are lost Europeans and loud 30 somethings.
PLAY POKER
You sit down just as the dealer is explaining to a player that he ‘must use two cards’. He is noticeably upset.
A waitress asks if you wish something to drink… Just kidding, no waitress will come to this (or any other) poker table.
The dealer welcomes you and you sit in the BB. You are dealt 4 random cards.
LOOK CARDS
This could take all day. After all, no one raises or folds yet.
LOOK FLOP
I can’t do that… yet.
CALL
Smart. The dealer, deals three face up cards. Hey, you have two pair!!!
FOLD
Are you sure?
FOLD
You fold the cards. Someone takes down the pot with a straight.
You are dealt 4 more cards.
CALL
You are in the hand! The players call for something called a flop. The dealer deals 3 face up cards. Hey, you have a flush!
LOOK CARDS
Why? You have a flush!
LOOK CARDS
Since you insist. You have the King and Queen of spades.
LOOK TABLE
There are three other spades on the table, face up. They are the 2 the 3 and the 8 of spades. A player makes a pot size bet.
FOLD
Are you crazy?
FOLD
You fold. An Ace high flush takes the pot. Are you psychic?
The dealer deals everyone 4 new cards.
CALL
The dealer flops KQJ all different suits.
LOOK CARDS
You have JT98. Another player bets the pot.
FOLD
You are crazy!
FOLD
You fold. An Ace high straight takes down the pot.
The dealer deals everyone 4 more cards.
CALL
The dealer flops 7 of spades, Ten of spades, Ten of diamonds.
LOOK CARDS
You have the Ace of spades, the Queen of spades, the Jack of diamonds, and the Ten of clubs. Hey, you have 3 tens.
CALL
Why not raise?
NOT YET
I do not understand. Please reform your command.
CALL
Ok, you get 5 callers.
The next card is the 2 of spades. Hey, you have a flush.
RAISE POT
You get 3 callers.
The final card is the Jack of hearts. Hey, you have a full house!
RAISE POT
Two players fold as if there cards did not pan out. One player stares at you and calls.
The dealer asks to see your cards and you show yours. The others throw their cards face down on the table. The dealer pushes many, many chips in your direction.
What now?
PLAY POKER
Why not just type “repeat”?
REPEAT
After about 5 minutes, the dealer pushes a stack of chips in your direction.
REPEAT
After about 5 minutes, the dealer pushes a stack of chips in your direction.
REPEAT
After about 5 minutes, the dealer pushes a stack of chips in your direction.
How long is this going to go on?
REPEAT
Ok, ok I get it. About 2 hours later you are tired and want to go to your room.
REPEAT
Stop that, you are exhausted. Your legs feel like needles.
GET UP
That’s more like it. You head back to your room.
INVENTORY
You Have:
$200 dollars, chewing gum, room key card, voucher for a free lap dance.
SLEEP
No one sleeps where there are cards to be played.
TAKE SHOWER
Where would you like to take it?
QUIT
You quite while you are ahead. 3 goons mug you at the airport and you leave town broke. You did not even go to a strip club. Your score is 14.
23.10.05
dissapointed
Was ready, won a 3 table warm up event, and then sat down for the big blogger tournament. Had 92o more times than I could count. Card dead and a big stack bully at the table prevented us from playing anything marginal. I would have killed for marginal. I folded J9o once, but I remmeber noting I was throwing away a big hand based on cards so far. Both times I had KQ, others were all in for BIG pots. Some each time had AA. Played a couple of low pocket pairs for a flop, but nothing. Then, I get TT utg and after a raise, the bully puts me all in. I KNOW he has AK and so does he. But as he says, "today I am on fire". So he was taking all races. Sure enough, Ace on the flop. So dissapointing. I can not tell you. Playing in effect maybe 6-12 hands and hitting zero flops. Tough way to go out. I am devistated.
Blogger Championships
The Pokerstars Blogger Championships are today.
Check out Daddy's prop bet with Boy Genius.
I have registered to play in the Online Poker Blogger Championship!
This event is powered by PokerStars.
Registration code: 7107656
Check out Daddy's prop bet with Boy Genius.
17.10.05
A quick Omaha session
I played about an hour of $.05/$.10 Omaha. That's right, NICKEL/DIME. So here is the funny part. I pocketed $21 bucks in PROFIT. Am I crazy? Nope, nothing special at all. No one seems to know how to fold in this game. Fold on the FLOP people, not the river GEEZ.
16.10.05
The Best of... Here are the best posts from the T...
The Best of...
Here are the best posts from the Tao of Poker over the past few years. Enjoy!
Here are the best posts from the Tao of Poker over the past few years. Enjoy!
2004Of course, if you are looking for 2005 WSOP coverage, visit the June 2005 and July 2005 archives. If you are looking for 2006 WSOP coverage, visit the July 2006 and August 2006 archives.
Grublog Classic Prep
Haleywood Homegame
Reflecting on a Bad Streak
Sad Amy
Sink or Swim
Watching Pauly
WSoP Shootout
TroubleHand 1: KJo
Rules to Live By
$5 & Tony Randall
TroubleHand 2: AQo
Junkie
11 Questions
Borgata Bloggers
Mentor Material
WPBT 2004 Holiday Classic
The Brawl
Closing Thoughts: Bloggers in Vegas
2005
Blogging Tips
February Doldrums
The Day Before Vegas
Poker & Masturbation
Empiricism, Kierkegaard, Catholic High School Girls, and Poker
Tao of Risk
Poker Nicknames Origins
Circles & Poker
Bloggers in Wonderland
2006
Turn This Mother Out
Gilligan's Island and Poker
Market Corrections
Bukowski & Poker
Strippers & Blow
April Sojourn
WPT Championship
Glass Eye, Red Rocks, and Omaha Suckouts
The Warrior Within: Bruce Lee, Taoism, and Poker
Through the Looking Glass: April Maelstrom
Mother Lovebone
LaFeltah Vermouth and the Village Drunk
Wall St. Game
Tao of Keno
Born to Gamble Part I: Where It All Begins
Born to Gamble Part II: Southbound
Born to Gamble Part III: Midnight Rider
Born to Gamble Part IV: Ramblin' Man
Born to Gamble Part V: Whipping Post
Born to Gamble Part VI: Revival
First Day at the WSOP: Buffets and Hookers 1, WSOP 0
2006 WSOP July
2006 WSOP August
Exile on Main St.
15.10.05
Happy Birthday, Derek! Today is my brother's birt...
Happy Birthday, Derek!
Today is my brother's birthday! Stop by Derek's blog and send him birthday wishes.
Yesterday, Derek started his celebration early by making the final table of the first ever Wil Wheaton.net inaugural tourney on Poker Stars. Thanks to Wil for setting it up. Congrats to Joanne for winning it. And congrats to Maudie, April, and Columbo for making the final table. Poor Jaxia bubbled out.
Today is my brother's birthday! Stop by Derek's blog and send him birthday wishes.
Yesterday, Derek started his celebration early by making the final table of the first ever Wil Wheaton.net inaugural tourney on Poker Stars. Thanks to Wil for setting it up. Congrats to Joanne for winning it. And congrats to Maudie, April, and Columbo for making the final table. Poor Jaxia bubbled out.
8.10.05
Tao Week in ReviewMonday 10.3.05: Empiricism, Kier...
Tao Week in Review
Check out the Poker Prof's latest post called Frozen accounts and the chill factor in on-line poker. Also, Bill Rini discusses the topic of variance in a post titled High Variance Poker vs. Low Variance Poker.
Monday 10.3.05: Empiricism, Kierkegaard, Catholic High School Girls, and Poker
Tuesday 10.4.05: Radio Free Pauly and WSOP on ESPN Tonight
Wednesday 10.5.05: October Baseball, Think of London, Vegoose, and the Squirter
Thursday 10.6.05: The Carnage
Check out the Poker Prof's latest post called Frozen accounts and the chill factor in on-line poker. Also, Bill Rini discusses the topic of variance in a post titled High Variance Poker vs. Low Variance Poker.
6.10.05
The Carnage My mom had a huge leak in the bathroo...
The Carnage
My mom had a huge leak in the bathroom in her apartment and I had to sit and babysit the plumbers to make sure they didn't steal anything while she was at work. I was there at 8:30am, the time the super said they would arrive. They didn't show up until11:30am and then spent the next 90 minutes tearing down the wall and ceiling. The didn't leave until 4:20pm.
While they removed a pipe that was 50 years old, I sat and played two MTTs on Party Poker. I took 330 out of 580 and 22 out of 100. I was knocked out of both on a bad beat and I'm starting to feel like Phil Hellmuth playing in these MTTs online. I felt like I was going to make the final table in the last one I played and ended up busting out at 22.
Here comes another Party Poker bad beat story. I had Q-Q and raised 4.5 the BB with the Hiltons. One limper called with A-4. The flop was 2-5-2. He checked, I bet the pot and he moved all in for the rest of his chips... maybe 300 more. He showed A-4 and I had the Hiltons. He rivered an ace on me. I was going to punch a hole in the wall but I remembered that Mario and Luigi were already punching holes in walls and getting paid to do that. I was eventually KO'd by the same guy when my J-9s lost to his 9-7o. Talk about getting kicked in the junk twice.
So be it.
It had been a while since I played MTTs on Party Poker. When I lived in Las Vegas this summer, I'd play a $100 MTT once a week from the Redneck Riviera on dial up of all things while listening to the inbred and pot-bellied kids next store engage in the usual early morning slap-fights. I bled away a good portion of my online bankroll playing those $100 MTTs on Party Poker.
*****
Lastly, the skies are dark and grey in my world. I just found out that another Hollyweird starlet was knocked up... and not by me. Check out what my second favorite NYC socialite, Mui, had to say about the latest dish about Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise. Even Al Cant Hang is pretty bummed out. He was the first person to clue me in.
My mom had a huge leak in the bathroom in her apartment and I had to sit and babysit the plumbers to make sure they didn't steal anything while she was at work. I was there at 8:30am, the time the super said they would arrive. They didn't show up until11:30am and then spent the next 90 minutes tearing down the wall and ceiling. The didn't leave until 4:20pm.While they removed a pipe that was 50 years old, I sat and played two MTTs on Party Poker. I took 330 out of 580 and 22 out of 100. I was knocked out of both on a bad beat and I'm starting to feel like Phil Hellmuth playing in these MTTs online. I felt like I was going to make the final table in the last one I played and ended up busting out at 22.
Here comes another Party Poker bad beat story. I had Q-Q and raised 4.5 the BB with the Hiltons. One limper called with A-4. The flop was 2-5-2. He checked, I bet the pot and he moved all in for the rest of his chips... maybe 300 more. He showed A-4 and I had the Hiltons. He rivered an ace on me. I was going to punch a hole in the wall but I remembered that Mario and Luigi were already punching holes in walls and getting paid to do that. I was eventually KO'd by the same guy when my J-9s lost to his 9-7o. Talk about getting kicked in the junk twice.
So be it.
It had been a while since I played MTTs on Party Poker. When I lived in Las Vegas this summer, I'd play a $100 MTT once a week from the Redneck Riviera on dial up of all things while listening to the inbred and pot-bellied kids next store engage in the usual early morning slap-fights. I bled away a good portion of my online bankroll playing those $100 MTTs on Party Poker.
*****
Lastly, the skies are dark and grey in my world. I just found out that another Hollyweird starlet was knocked up... and not by me. Check out what my second favorite NYC socialite, Mui, had to say about the latest dish about Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise. Even Al Cant Hang is pretty bummed out. He was the first person to clue me in.
Dear Katie,First the Yankees lose Game 2 and now this. Ouch. It's been a rough last 12 hours in my world. Time to seal the windows, turn on the gas, and read Sylvia Plath.
You blew it. You could have gotten knocked up by me and I would not have made you convert to my cult, er religion. Where I might lag behind Tom in boyish good looks, I make up for in height and girth.
First you ditch Dawson. Now this. We all thought this Tom & Katie thing was a nice publicity stunt, something concocted by your PR reps. We all went along for the ride like it was some really bad April Fools joke. But now, this joke has reached absurd levels.
My heart weeps for thee,
Pauly
5.10.05
October Baseball, Think of London, Vegoose, and th...
October Baseball, Think of London, Vegoose, and the Squirter
First of all, go read Otis. He was just in London covering the EPT. Now he's in Baden. That's in Austria for all you geographically challenged folks.
I'd love to head to Dublin at the end of the month, but I'll be in Las Vegas covering a WPT event and attending the Vegoose music festival. I gave up attending several summer music festivals this year in order to cover the WSOP. Which reminds me... I was lucky enough to score tickets to Widespread Panic on Halloween in Las Vegas in addition to a few other late night shows like Trey Anastasio Band and STS9. If anyone has any extras to Galactic, please let me know. By the way, I posted a short bit about Vegoose over at Las Vegas and Poker Blog. Take a peek.
October Glory
Last night marked the first of what I hope will be many long nights in October. My home town team, the Yankees took the first step towards regaining pinstripe glory with a 4-2 victory over the California Anaheim Los Angeles Angels. The Moose was loose! Mike Mussina looked excellent in his six innings. He was getting a lot of first pitch strikes to batters and he's tough to beat when he's ahead in the count. Moose's stellar pitching performance was much needed from the Yankees. Add Robinson Cano's huge bases clearing double during a two out rally in the first inning and that ended up being all the Yankees needed to take a quick 1-0 lead in a short series against the Angels.
Of course, the Red Sox lost to the White Sox earlier in the day and the Cards also took a 1-0 series lead. Tonight, the Yankees and Wang need to pick up one more win before they return home to the Bronx on Friday and have Randy Johnson pitch.
In today's action David Wells tries to even the score for the Red Sox in Chicago against Buehrle. And the Astros and the Braves play Game 1. I'd like to see a St. Louis Cardinals and NY Yankees World Series. What can I say, I'm an old school kinda guy.
Tao of Online Poker
I had been playing MTTs on Titan Poker recently and I've been getting whooped. I had to break out the "cup" to absorb all the kicks in the junk. I checked my notes/stats and I'm not joking when I say that every time I've gotten knocked out of a Titan Poker tournament, it's been on an awful bad beat. I feel like Phil Hellmuth. I guess it's that the players are so bad. I might be a monkey playing in a room filled with donkeys. Like the Rolling Stones said, "I'm just a monkey man."
I've been back to playing hit and run poker over at Party Poker. I've been jumping back and forth between the $3/6 tables and the $5/10 tables in quick sessions. I found myself playing $3/6 when I'm multi-tasking and $5/10 when can give it my full attention. I've also been lurking around the PLO tables where I've been flopping a bunch of monster redraws, but can't seem to pick any of those pots up. Man, I actually miss the days when I'd grind out 6-8 hour sessions on the $25 and $50 NL tables. OK, I don't actually miss those days, but I miss the freedom I had to be able to play for several hours straight.
I was invited to visit a new card room here in New York City by the owners of said room. I've been too busy with writing projects to sneak off. With the baseball playoffs, it makes it impossible for me to find any time this week to play.
Prop Bet of the Week: Senor and the Squirter
I guess this is the time where I'm supposed to write about the bachelor party I attended on Saturday in a swanky suite downtown. I'm not going to. Some things are best left un-blogged. Besides wives and girlfriends of friends of mine might be smart enough to check my poker blog in addition to my main blog to catch some juicy nuggets about this weekend.
I ain't gonna rat out my friends.
However, one of the funniest things I heard all weekend was when one of the strippers politely asked that no pictures be taken since she was a school teacher.
There's only one juicy nugget from this weekend that I'll share with you. It involves a prop bet, a squirter, and my buddy Senor. If you don't know what a "squirter" is, then you'll have to stop now and do a quick Google search or ask a co-worker or friend to clue you in on squirters. Or check out this NSFW link on female ejaculation. Like I said it's NSFW so you have been warned.
I'll wait a moment for you to do some quick research before I continue...
OK, so now you know what a squirter is. I expect that half of you are turned on while the rest are just mortified. Great. By the way, even Aristotle, one of our greatest philosophical minds, wrote about female ejaculation. And I shall briefly touch on the subject in this here poker blog. I have sunk to a new low. I pimped Party Poker and wrote about female ejaculation in the same post.
One of the "entertainers" we hired for the bachelor party had an impressive resume. Included in her list of tricks that should could perform was the rare act of squirting. She sat in a chair and ejaculated for us. Most of it collected and soaked into the cushion of the chair. The stain was roughly about the size of half a slice of a pizza. I turned to an inebriated Senor and offered him up a prop bet. I've known Senor since we were both 18 and pledged the same fraternity together. We've traveled all over the world together raising hell and he's the guy who started "Elevator Gambling" with me in Las Vegas many years ago. We've also done prop bets on three continents and in over twenty plus states.
As we both admired at the stain, I offered Senor $20 that he couldn't stick his nose in the squirter's puddle of ejaculation for ten seconds. He quickly said yes and parked his face and nose in the middle of the stain. We all counted out to ten seconds and Senor triumphantly collected $20 from me.
"It smelled like chicken broth," he added as he wiped his nose and took a huge swig on his glass of Johnny Walker Black.
Just another Saturday night of prop bets in the big city.
First of all, go read Otis. He was just in London covering the EPT. Now he's in Baden. That's in Austria for all you geographically challenged folks.
I'd love to head to Dublin at the end of the month, but I'll be in Las Vegas covering a WPT event and attending the Vegoose music festival. I gave up attending several summer music festivals this year in order to cover the WSOP. Which reminds me... I was lucky enough to score tickets to Widespread Panic on Halloween in Las Vegas in addition to a few other late night shows like Trey Anastasio Band and STS9. If anyone has any extras to Galactic, please let me know. By the way, I posted a short bit about Vegoose over at Las Vegas and Poker Blog. Take a peek.
October Glory
Last night marked the first of what I hope will be many long nights in October. My home town team, the Yankees took the first step towards regaining pinstripe glory with a 4-2 victory over the Of course, the Red Sox lost to the White Sox earlier in the day and the Cards also took a 1-0 series lead. Tonight, the Yankees and Wang need to pick up one more win before they return home to the Bronx on Friday and have Randy Johnson pitch.
In today's action David Wells tries to even the score for the Red Sox in Chicago against Buehrle. And the Astros and the Braves play Game 1. I'd like to see a St. Louis Cardinals and NY Yankees World Series. What can I say, I'm an old school kinda guy.
Tao of Online Poker
I had been playing MTTs on Titan Poker recently and I've been getting whooped. I had to break out the "cup" to absorb all the kicks in the junk. I checked my notes/stats and I'm not joking when I say that every time I've gotten knocked out of a Titan Poker tournament, it's been on an awful bad beat. I feel like Phil Hellmuth. I guess it's that the players are so bad. I might be a monkey playing in a room filled with donkeys. Like the Rolling Stones said, "I'm just a monkey man."
I've been back to playing hit and run poker over at Party Poker. I've been jumping back and forth between the $3/6 tables and the $5/10 tables in quick sessions. I found myself playing $3/6 when I'm multi-tasking and $5/10 when can give it my full attention. I've also been lurking around the PLO tables where I've been flopping a bunch of monster redraws, but can't seem to pick any of those pots up. Man, I actually miss the days when I'd grind out 6-8 hour sessions on the $25 and $50 NL tables. OK, I don't actually miss those days, but I miss the freedom I had to be able to play for several hours straight.
I was invited to visit a new card room here in New York City by the owners of said room. I've been too busy with writing projects to sneak off. With the baseball playoffs, it makes it impossible for me to find any time this week to play.
Prop Bet of the Week: Senor and the Squirter
I guess this is the time where I'm supposed to write about the bachelor party I attended on Saturday in a swanky suite downtown. I'm not going to. Some things are best left un-blogged. Besides wives and girlfriends of friends of mine might be smart enough to check my poker blog in addition to my main blog to catch some juicy nuggets about this weekend.I ain't gonna rat out my friends.
However, one of the funniest things I heard all weekend was when one of the strippers politely asked that no pictures be taken since she was a school teacher.
There's only one juicy nugget from this weekend that I'll share with you. It involves a prop bet, a squirter, and my buddy Senor. If you don't know what a "squirter" is, then you'll have to stop now and do a quick Google search or ask a co-worker or friend to clue you in on squirters. Or check out this NSFW link on female ejaculation. Like I said it's NSFW so you have been warned.
I'll wait a moment for you to do some quick research before I continue...
OK, so now you know what a squirter is. I expect that half of you are turned on while the rest are just mortified. Great. By the way, even Aristotle, one of our greatest philosophical minds, wrote about female ejaculation. And I shall briefly touch on the subject in this here poker blog. I have sunk to a new low. I pimped Party Poker and wrote about female ejaculation in the same post.
One of the "entertainers" we hired for the bachelor party had an impressive resume. Included in her list of tricks that should could perform was the rare act of squirting. She sat in a chair and ejaculated for us. Most of it collected and soaked into the cushion of the chair. The stain was roughly about the size of half a slice of a pizza. I turned to an inebriated Senor and offered him up a prop bet. I've known Senor since we were both 18 and pledged the same fraternity together. We've traveled all over the world together raising hell and he's the guy who started "Elevator Gambling" with me in Las Vegas many years ago. We've also done prop bets on three continents and in over twenty plus states.
As we both admired at the stain, I offered Senor $20 that he couldn't stick his nose in the squirter's puddle of ejaculation for ten seconds. He quickly said yes and parked his face and nose in the middle of the stain. We all counted out to ten seconds and Senor triumphantly collected $20 from me.
"It smelled like chicken broth," he added as he wiped his nose and took a huge swig on his glass of Johnny Walker Black.
Just another Saturday night of prop bets in the big city.
3.10.05
right move, wrong time
I seem to have a knack lately of running a great bluff at the perfect time, only to run into TPTK. AGAIN. What are the odds?
A better question may be, "why run such elaborate moves in early levels?"
why indeed. Stop it columbo!
A better question may be, "why run such elaborate moves in early levels?"
why indeed. Stop it columbo!
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