I was a middle aged Zombie

I decided to play 2 $5 Sit N Go’s and track (in grave detail) my play. I thought it would be interesting to the reader. I thought it would show my improvement. I thought it would demonstrate how much I had learned from Harrington. Instead, I became a card dead zombie. Eeeerrrrr, brains... (Please comment if you disagree with any of the following.)

WARNING: The cards dealt are disturbing. Do not try this at home. Keep your hands inside the car at all times.

First SnG. Starting stack 1000, blinds 5/10. 10 handed tables. (M:100, Q:avg.)

First hand. AQs in the cutoff. Couple of limpers. I raise to 4xBB. I expect the limpers to call most any raise. They did. The flop is 958 rainbow and the betting and raising begins. Against 4+ players I can not hope to win this pot with 2 overcards. But I did not really even have to think about it as a player goes all in before it even gets to me. I lost the hand and that’s the good news. The bad news consists of the next two hours. Avert your eyes. I wont see a hand this good until... well, never.

I collected all sorts of stats, notes and commentary over the next two hours. I would love to type it all out, really I would. But instead, I am going to list my starting hands…

Ready? Let’s begin: 69o, 57s, 4To, K2o, 35o, 23o, 45o, 78o (could not get in cheap AND out of position), Q6s, 97o, 85o, JQo.

Hey, wait a second. JQo? That’s playable. From MP I call like everyone else (this hand can not stand a reraise). The flop is 223 and there are 5 players seeing the flop. All check. The turn is a 3. I am so done here. Ends up someone played 34o.

A9s – all in before it even GETS to me pre-flop. Fold.

32o, A5o, Q8o, 83o, 9To (flop A6A, turn K), 57o*, A9o

Played the A9o out of frustration. Ended up in a showdown with AJ and got lucky when we split on two pair. I had figured the time was good for a move. I ALMOST tried it with 57o because I thought the timing was good. I decided to wait one more hand. The A9 runs into AJ of course.

J3o, J2o, 89o (BIG raise from the right before my turn to act), K9o

Tried to play K9o because UtG folded and I was first to act. I made a move here and got called by the BB. The flop is 692 and he checked. I made a continuation bet and he moved all in. It was $450 more into a pot of like $800 and I had top pair. I think and decide I have to call here as an overpair would not be played this way. He turns over 77 and I win. I have $1720 now. This was my first showdown. I have won ONE hand.

Get this. I am the chip leader. But not a single player is out. Money is moving from K7o to 57o (i.e. from stupid player to stupid player). I have only played ONE hand to a showdown, and my M* is 17. (M is the number of rotations you can play before you are blinded out). If MY M is 17, everyone else is firmly in the Orange Zone and has to think about making a move. Let the volatility begin!

K4o, 62s, K6s, 32s, ATo

I decide to play ATo since I am on the button. (Play is consistent with Orange Zone play as everyone folds to me when I am the big blind and the very next hand a player is all-in.) I raise 2.5xBB. I scaled it down a little as the blinds as so high and I am only against the blinds. Plus, I have position. The BB can’t wait to get all in and I am forced to call $365 more on odds alone. He flips KK. Plus a K on the flop. This hands costs my the tournament.

I am at $855 now and my M is 4.5. I am a zombie again. Plus, I wont see a hand as good as ATo for the rest of the night.

J7o, 42o, 97o, A8o.

The blinds are so huge and I firmly in the Red zone. I get ideal conditions. First to act after some folds, only 3 players to act after me, and I have an ace at least. I go all in and get a call from JJ. I am out 8th out of 10. And get this. The blinds are now 100/200 and most players still have less than 2000 chips.

SnG II (Return of the zombie)

69s, JTs utg. Dangerous, but I know I can get in the second hand just limping.

Flop is Ts8sAc and I am first to act. I ASSUME someone played Ax, so I check. Ok, this was probably a mistake that cost me this hand. But I am out one BB only. The pot is small and I have middle pair against a probable Ace holding with 5 callers and I am first to act. Everyone checked. The turn is a 4d and everyone checks again. The river is a 9 and a player make a pot size bet. I assume he had the Ace. Since I blew the hand, I decided not to make a crying call. I probably SHOULD have. Lesson Learned. I just was zombied I guess.

9To. In the BB no less. But when a player raises 6xBB I fold it. The flop was 99T. This was the lotto hand I missed out on.

AJo, but a player is ALL IN before it gets to me.

J4o, 64o, 68o, K7s, 64o, 83o, J5o. At this time I have FOLDED my way to third place with $955 of my starting $1000.

I call with 54s, but an AK gets 68s all in. How does that happen?

JTs in the BB. I make a raise to 2x and someone is all in but its only 3xBB. 393Q4. Lost that one. I raised with JTs for deception value and realize in retrospec that it was wasted effort that cost me an extra two bets.

7To, Q7o, A3o, QJo (two players start a raising war), 36o, 43o, T2o, A3o in the BB and cant get away from it due to lack of chips. My M is below 10 and I have only one opponent. He flips over AJo and I suck out on him when a 3 hits. My M is now 20.

42o, 48o, 56o (I win a tiny pot here when I limp and the flop is 578)
45o and again I limp. I let bottom pair go and decided that I am done limping. I am either folding or raising from this point on. The blinds are too high.

K6o, J4o, KJo in the BB. Someone raises to 2xBB and I reraise to 4xBB. I do this because I am out of position and I want to win it right here. I could have bet more. As it is, I get TWO callers. I get pushed out on the turn and 55 hits a straight and takes out KTs. What we he doing there? There was no K, no J and no draws. I may have challenged harder if KJo did not call my 4xBB re-raise and I was heads up with one opponent.

KTs and I call a short stacks desperate all-in expecting Ax. I get to stare at AK and now I am crippled down to $400.

34o (someone with life in them please aim a shotgun at my zombie head)

A8s. All fold to me on the button, just the blinds left to act. I go all in and they BOTH call. They have AK and QQ.

My very best hand of the night: AQs. Pocket pairs: ZERO. Ace-King: ZERO. Flopped top pair : ONCE. Two pair: ZERO Straight or flush DRAW (not even made, just a DRAW): One Only the 9To that I folded to the 6xBB raise would have hit hard the entire night.

So, what did I learn from all of this? That you can be playing smart and losing because of it. A reckless LAG (loose aggressive player) may have been able to at least get lucky on a hand. Me, I couldn’t move at all. Even when I tried to make a move, I would constantly run into AK, KK or QQ or JJ. Yet I never saw a starting pair the entire night much less JJ. Not even AK.

Even so, I will try this again. I would like to hear comment from anyone who thinks they could have turned these cards into a winning situation. Meanwhile, I am going to rent Day of the Dead before the new zombie movie is released next week and commiserate with my zombie friends.