21.2.07

Good Guys Lose Two More

James M. Cain's 'Double Indemnity' (1935)One of my all-time favorite hard-boiled novels is James M. Cain’s 1935 thriller Double Indemnity. If you haven’t read it, you might’ve seen or heard of the terrific 1944 film adaptation directed by Billy Wilder and co-scripted by Wilder and Raymond Chandler. The story concerns an insurance salesman, Walter Huff, who comes up with what he thinks to be the perfect plan for a murder. Walter is partly inspired by femme fatale Phyllis Nirdlinger, the woman whose husband stands to be the victim. The idea for the plot originates with Phyllis, although it is Walter who is the first to articulate the idea out loud. And it is Walter who ultimately hatches the scheme to kill her husband and recover a large insurance claim for “accidental” death (i.e., double indemnity).

I say Walter is partly inspired by Phyllis, because the way I read the novel he seems even more motivated by the cynicism he’s developed after fifteen years in the insurance business. Having been so intimately involved with the business, he thinks he knows how to crack it. In fact, Huff has come to believe that insurance isn’t a “business” at all, but “the biggest gambling wheel in the world.” It’s all an elaborate game, he’s realized. “You bet that your house will burn down, they bet that it won’t, that’s all,” as he puts it. Some try to cheat the game, but they usually get caught. Indeed, Huff has learned all of their tricks, seeing all of the “awful things that people had pulled to crook the wheel” in their favor. All of which has led Huff to adopt a pretty dim view of human nature.

It isn’t just the insurance business that’s a game to Huff. It’s life itself. There are those who control the game -- life’s croupiers, so to speak -- and the rest of us suckers who are merely players. “If you don’t understand that,” says Huff, “go to Monte Carlo or some other place where there’s a big casino, sit at a table, and watch the face of the man that spins the little ivory ball. After you’ve watched it a while, ask yourself how much he would care if you went out and plugged yourself in the head. His eyes might drop when he heard the shot, but it wouldn’t be from worry whether you lived or died. It would be to make sure you didn’t leave a bet on the table, that he would have to cash for your estate. No, he wouldn’t care. Not that baby.”

Here Huff instinctively employs the metaphor of an unfeeling casino to describe a cutthroat world where everyone is in it for him or herself. Some real-life casinos live up (or down) to this characterization. On a recent episode of Bluff Poker Radio, host Nick Geber told a story about having witnessed the untimely demise of an elderly female slots player at the Horseshoe Casino in Council Bluffs, Iowa. Geber then invited callers to phone in similar “crazy casino” stories. The first caller described an episode at the Tropicana in Atlantic City where he saw a player having what appeared to be a heart attack at the poker table. The entire poker room was “freaking out” about what was happening, but that didn’t prevent the casino operators from following what sounded like standard procedure in such cases: “Long before any paramedics or any medical personnel got to the poker room, all of the security guards came into the poker room and locked down all of the dealer trays on every table . . . . That was the casino’s first response to this guy dying in the poker room -- to get in there and lock down every table.”

One encounters varying levels of treatment from online poker sites as well. There are still some good ones left for us American players, but the number is dwindling rapidly. You no doubt heard this week that Doyle’s Room has left the U.S. market. Interestingly, players at Doyle’s have been invited to transfer their accounts over to Full Tilt Poker. Saw something similar ten days ago when Tony G Poker decided it could no longer serve U.S. customers. Facing head-on what would have been a difficult, arduous procedure for American players to withdraw their funds, the site instructed players to transfer their funds to “Tony G” himself, then send an email to support listing their player IDs, the amount they had transferred, and the name of the poker site to which they’d like their money moved (UltimateBet, Full Tilt, or Poker Stars).

Both sites appear to be trying their best to do right by their customers. It has been reported that Doyle’s wasn’t exactly forced out of the U.S. market (not yet, anyway), but instead allowed Full Tilt to buy it out, customers and all. And I have no idea how smoothly (or roughly) the transfer of funds is going over at Tony G Poker -- I can’t imagine it has gone trouble-free. Still, it seems to me that here we we’re seeing two more customer-friendly sites pulling out of the U.S. market. We Americans still have a small number of sites (Stars, Full Tilt, Bodog, Absolute, UltimateBet, and Poker.com) with favorable reputations and acceptable customer service. Although these, too, are starting to feel the pinch thanks to dwindling payment options.

Such is an expected consequence of “prohibition” -- which is precisely what we’re being made to endure here. Trustworthy businesses (poker sites, third-party vendors) who actually concern themselves with running afoul of the law pull out, leaving the arena free for less savory types to take their place. How long before all of the legitimate sites go away, leaving us with less than reputable, fly-by-night outfits with attitudes resembling that of Huff’s Monte Carlo croupier?

Don’t ask me. Just another player, here.

At City Council last night...

"How About a Bomb?" -- An Excerpt from the Novel "A Dancing Bear"

"How about a bomb?" said Warren.

Gus rallied, straightening a finger at him. "That might be more like it, Wozz."

"How about a nail bomb?" offered Col.

Gus said, "I tend to think not. I like to think of myself as a bit of a gentleman bandit. A nail bomb, that's the type of thing could give us a bad name."

Blue said: "What about a suicide bomb?"

"Expand," Gus said.

"You know. You just drive right up to him in a van packed with explosives."

"I'm listening Blue -- provided you're not referring to my Kombi."

"It doesn't even have to be a van, Gus. You can do it in a ute, whatever. I've even heard of some freak doing it on a motorbike. The bomb was actually strapped to him."

Gus was still interested. "You've got a bike, Blue. You volunteering to be the freak?"

Here Blue's enthusiasm tapered off. He looked solemnly down into his beer. "I can't Gus. My licence got suspended mate. I took a joyride while I was pissed."

Gus chuckled dismissively, moving back over to the hotplate. "As if that matters, you spastic." He was turning the steaks again. How many sides did he think a steak had? "Mind you," he said thoughtfully, "your bike'd most probably lead the pigs straight back to us. And your body, for that matter. Of course we could always claim you were rogue, I suppose. Acting off your own bat. Or maybe -- I'm thinking aloud here -- but maybe we could just strap that much gear to you that you just get friggin' vaporised."

"Then they'll just use his dental records," Col pointed out.

Blue looked on with mounting concern.

"Not necessarily," said Gus. "What if we broke into his dentist's beforehand and taxed all his X-rays? I've often wondered why nobody does that. That way they'd have nothing to go on to make the i.d., would they? Or you could -- and I'm just talking speculatively here, Blue. I'm just thinking out loud. But you could knock all his teeth out, couldn't you, before he strapped on the gear..."

Gus fell into a ruminative silence. He tapped his tongs rhythmically against the hotplate. Blue watched him with deep unease, saying nothing. Apparently his fear of displeasing Gus outweighed, for the moment, his fear of becoming a strap-on motorcycle bomber.

"But let's think about this properly," Gus said. "Let's think about the whole logistics of it. For one thing, we'd have to be dead sure the bomb went off at the exact moment the bike hit the bloke. Wouldn't we? I mean, we wouldn't want it go off early, would we? Not even by a few seconds. Because then you'd have the farcical situation of this flaming fucking skeleton just rolling towards the guy at about two miles an hour. And what sort of statement would that make? Frankly, I doubt the bike'd even stay upright. Even if it did, the bloke could just step out of the way of it."

He pensively tapped the hotplate. He was vexed. "By the same token," he slowly went on, "we wouldn't want it to go off too late, either. What would we be looking at then? This cat on a motorbike just ploughs into the wall of the guy's house or office or whatever... And then he just sits there waiting to explode. Assuming he's survived the stack. And then maybe ten minutes later or so he blows, by which time our target'd pretty obviously be well out of there. Or is Blue meant to dismount from the wreckage and just sort of run after him till the thing goes off? Fuck me. This is actually a lot more complicated than it sounds, isn't it? It's fair dinkum giving me a headache."

He laid down the tongs and massaged his troubled skull. Finally he sighed with resignation.

"You might be in luck here, Bluey. I'm starting to think we might have to shelve this one. There's too many imponderables. I mean, what exactly are we meant to prang the bike into, for starters? Just the front wall of his house? It doesn't vibe right. There's no class to it. His office? How do we get the bike up there? In the lift? It's bloody two storeys up. But what other option have we got? I mean we can hardly just mow the guy down as he's walking along the street, can we? That'd be ludicrous. Why bother with a bomb at all, if you're already going to be creaming the bloke with a motorbike at top speed? You can't kill the guy twice. But then if you've got no bomb... If you've got no bomb, the whole political element of it
goes out the window. Basically you'd be looking at an everyday hit and run. The only political ingredient being that the bloke on the bike has maybe got no teeth."

20.2.07

Donkey Challenge update

I am ALMOST there. On Poker Stars, I have worked my $200 to over $500. If I hit $600, I actually HIT the Donkey Challenge requirements!! On FT, I play too many blogger events and not much else, so my bankroll is -40% instead of +40%. I am way behind there.

Thanks to http://www.mattahfahtu.com for reminding me to update everyone. And further props to him for posted Donkey Challenge #2, the SnG army. Play 10 $5 SnG and cash in at least 7 of them. Keep going until you can do it at the $30 SnG level. (I am going to skip the "restart" rule, as I think it takes long enough as it is)

In addition, I think any game qualifies, not just NLHE. I agree, no turbos.

Let's all be friends

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In poker news:
I blew the chip lead in the hoy last night, but I had it coming. I misplayed two big hands, and when you play with the big guns, you had better know how to shoot. BUT, I feel my game has now moved to the next level and I feel like I finally "get it". I no longer have to rely on "playing by the book" or the hipocracy of playing correctly. I have moved past that now and can actually implement better strategy that I have learned in my journey. Pressure Points, image manipulation, forcing your opponent to disclose their strength, etc.